Finding the Beauty in Beginning Again
Currently, in my pole journey, I often find myself downright frustrated. If only my pole progress could embody nothing but highlights. Sigh. But I know this is an unrealistic expectation so I’m embracing all the small victories, every climb of the way.
As a “newbie-ish” poler, I’m revisiting the basics: cleaning up my climbs, straightening out my lines, perfecting invert techniques and familiarizing myself with spin pole. In order to have clean and controlled movement, proper technique comes first. With each beginner class, I'm reminded with the harsh actuality that I wasn't as skilled as I thought. Humility has acknowledged my year-and-half experience with pole but has also taught me, I got some serious unlearning to do. Goodbye hooked foot!
In this time, I am consciously recording my practices to narrow in on how well I'm pointing my toes or to see just how much control I have on spin. At times I watch my videos exhilarated, feeling accomplished. Oh hey side climb! Most times though, I'm cringing as I watch, honestly questioning if I'm any good at this pole thing. Starting anew is exciting but is also physically demanding and at times I feel defeated. Ugh! Why are my thighs stopping me from getting into my superman?!
This new beginnings of sorts has taught me to be kind to myself. Embracing the struggle but overcoming through consistent practice. As Maya Angelou eloquently puts it, “You may encounter many defeats, but you must not be defeated. In fact, it may be necessary to encounter the defeats, so you can know who you are, what you can rise from, how you can still come out of it.”
In reality, just think how boring it would be if my entire training was all highlights. The beauty of pole is in the progression. One day you’re stumbling around the pole into your first fireman spin, the next you’re gracefully flowing into a Juliette spin. One class you’re terrified to invert into a crucifix, the next you’re metamorphosing into a butterfly shape. That being said, I am finding solace in the simple moves. Yes, admittedly I am struggling. But check me out in a few weeks, months and years. Who knows what I will become.
If you find yourself in the same place as me, keep going! Know this journey is like the ocean that ebbs and flows. Sometimes we have to take a step back to get several steps ahead. As the saying goes, “You don't have to be great to start but you do have to start to be great.” And sometimes that start is not a new beginning but beginning again.
Eventually my pole highlights will outweigh the lows. In the meantime, I sure am racking up an epic pole failures compilation.